Endless Seeking

For as long as we can remember, we would have noticed that our intentions and motivations were driven by one thing. We want to be at peace, we want to experience fulfillment. We are all looking for peace and happiness. Is this not true? 

We can check up. Even on the most subtle levels of the mind, we shall find that we are motivated by seeking peace and happiness. 

We may even find that our actions that appear virtuous on the outside, come from the intentions to satisfy ourselves. If we are honest with ourselves, we may notice this. For example, we want to go to some foreign country to 'do good' and volunteer, but actually we are doing this because we are seeking something from this. Of course, this is not the case for every single person that is performing a 'good deed', and also we may never know what drives other people, but we can check and identify what drives ourselves. 

Let us go into this a bit deeper.

Creating an illusion

How many times have we been unhappy in our lives, and decided that we need a change? All of us have been there. We feel that if we can get that new job, then we can be truly happy. Or, we feel that if we can just marry this person, or finish this university degree, then we are going to be fulfilled.

Is this not true? We place the idea of happiness outside of us, and in some distant future. We consider happiness to be separate from us.

There are also some other things that we tend to do. We may feel that, okay, we are not happy now, but if we just go into the Himalayas and meet a yogi or a guru, then our problems will be solved! Or, when we go into the Amazon rainforest and take some Ayahuasca, then it will bring us peace. It goes like this... If we can just go into the Sahara desert and retreat under the stars for a month, happiness will appear out of the desert sands.

We may even think that if we change our religion, if we become a Hindu or follow some Buddhist philosophy, then we are going to be happy. Or, if we read the Bible more. We have these expectations.

The above-mentioned ideas, they could be beneficial in some way or another, no doubt. However, they can also merely be distractions from unhappiness. There is a fine line that we need to be aware of. Just because we are distracted from unhappiness, doesn't mean that we are free from unhappiness, does it? 

Whatever it is that we are doing, if we are using these methods and seeking lasting fulfillment in them, we are bound to disappointment and unhappiness. We can use some of these methods to guide us to internal happiness, but it is never ever outside of ourselves. It is never wise to depend on anything or anyone for our own peace and happiness. 

Unskillful means

Think of a hand pointing to the direction of the moon. We get so obsessed with the hand, study the hand pointing at the moon, we constantly think of this hand pointing at the moon, but we never actually look at the moon itself. We generate attachment to the hand!

What is meant by this, is that we get so caught up in the methods, that we forget the purpose of them. We get obsessed with the details and the facts, instead of applying the messages they carry to our lives.
We become walking encyclopedias, being able to quote and recite philosophical scriptures, and we are able to debate anyone into silence. Yet, we remain unhappy. 

So, we have these thoughts about seeking happiness somewhere and we do these things, but still, we remain unfulfilled. Why is this? Well, maybe because we are seeking peace and happiness out there, while all the time, it has been in here, within ourselves. We have searched everywhere, except for the place where it actually is. 

A friend of the author once told him that God is hiding in the last place that we will ever look for Him - within ourselves. 

See, we have tried so many things, we had so many ideas, but still, we seem to be stuck in the same place. We may have more knowledge or understanding about other philosophies or cultures, but our level of unhappiness is still the same, due to ignorance and unskillful means.  

After seeking and seeking, one disappointment after the other, it may be time to turn inward. We turn silent.

The veil removed

When we say that we go inward, we do not mean that we start to look for happiness in our bodies. Happiness does not exist in some physical organ or a part of the body, even though we may feel that some physical parts bring us more pleasure than others. 

When we say that we turn silent, it does not mean that we merely stop the talking and we start the thinking. No, because it is thought that has been making us unhappy in the first place. Thoughts have been sending us in these circles, chasing happiness here, chasing happiness there... We turn silent, and we just observe the thoughts.

We observe how they come into existence within us, and then, how they dissolve again within us. We simply observe. At some point, as we start to lose interest in the thoughts, they get slower and slower, until they fade out, and there is real silence. 

At this point, we may realize 'something' in the background that has been there all along, but we were just too occupied with our thoughts to notice it! Nothing separate from ourselves, from who and what we truly are. What has been in the background all along, comes to the front and is exposed!

We do not want to elaborate too much, because we don't want to create more ideas and concepts for the mind to chase, but the author strongly recommends that those of us who are seeking true peace and happiness, consider the above mentioned. To go silent, to within, and to observe! Check what comes up in the silence.

There is no object of happiness

To conclude this article, we want to repeat the following - that fulfillment does not lie anywhere outside of us, separate from us. If we place our idea of happiness on an object, any object, even an object of thought, and even if it is a holy thought, we are still bound to unhappiness. 

There are many paths and methods to explore, which may help us to discover the peace that exists within us, but the paths and methods are never peace and fulfillment themselves! 

For as long as we are unhappy, we shall seek happiness. For as long as we are unfulfilled, we shall seek fulfillment. So, why not give up the external seeking right now, and consider going inwards. It may turn out to be the most rewarding thing we ever do!

When we stop being distracted by the sounds of the birds, the cars, the talking, we can finally hear the constant flow of the stream. Always flowing softly, we were simply too distracted to hear it. 

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Taming the mind - 04 September, 2020
Nature, a great teacher - 04 August, 2020
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